Thank you Superman

I love this.

"

Lois Lane...

Could I have found my Lois Lane?... I think about you the moment I wake up. I worry if you have eaten your meals on time, happy to hear your voice even if it's a short while and smile everytime I receive your messages.

If I could, I would fly you up to the sky, enjoy the silence from above and feel your heart beat calmly in my embrace while we fly from horizons to horizons. I will never let you fall, I will never let anything hurt you. I want to protect you. I want to spend everyday with you, I want to grow with you. I want you and only you.

You mean the world to me. I can and I will give up anything for you... If only you knew. "

Unbreak your heart

Dearest Baybee,

I have never let you down by seeing other guys behind you and I am not going to hurt you by doing so in Future. I experienced alot in my past 8 years in this circle. I could only say, enough is enough. I do not want anything in the past to happen again. The only reason is because I truly love you. As much as I do not want to be hurt, I do not want to hurt you. We already have each other's heart in us, dont ever steal it back, it'll be much more painful than piercing a sharp knife into our body.

Anybody who read this blog is a witness to our love.

I understand this is the crucial period. Trust is very very important. I never forget "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" So I am not going to believe what people is going to tell me about you.

Sorry if I added stress on you. Any unhappy comments from me do not apply on you. Really. I just do not like those people, even if they are innocent. But dun worry la, I just talk it out to feel better. I wish you can be successful one day.

Your last sms really touches my heart. Thank you BEE.

You light up my life

My dearest baybee, thank you for walking life with me through all the thicks and thins. Hope this new year, our bond will be even stronger. Sometimes I really feel that our hearts are connected as we do think alike at times. Like people said, as a couple been together for long, they are connected to each other in thinking. So let's keep walking on and never let each other go.

I love you always....hek!!!

I will always love you

I thought I will not be bothered by this at all but I am absolutely wrong. I am feel very stressful. Really am. Teach me how to relax. Teach me how to get over this tough time. Teach me how to handle all these. Teach me how to take things easy. I can only write down my feelings here. I am very stressful. Everyday the same thoughts and struggles go through my mind over and over again. Guess I know why gay people want to commit suicide.

I want to get out of this circle. Gay relationship to all these people are full of shit. Why can't people stay loyal to their partner? Why can't people just be satisfied? Why not just remain single and stop hurting anyone? Maybe these are my retributions. Guess I am really lucky that I can find a loyal partner like you.

I really dun want to give my parents false hope by letting them feel that I'm straight.

I really wish I can look better so people will feel that we are a perfect match.

I really wish to see you as much as I want to. I really wish to. Guess for this moment of time, this is wishful thinking.

I don't want it to end this way

I always wish that both our families can have a little gathering. My wish was granted tonight but it turned out to be a miserable one. I know you and your parents will blame me for my stupid suggestion. I really am feeling very very very bad. I just want a happy family that's all.

I know you wont want to be disturbed now. Hope you rest well tonight.

I miss you very very very much :(

Hope to see you soon.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR

For the first time in my life, I did not spend my night infront of the tv watching chinese new year countdown program. It's quite a rollercoaster ride for me tonight. Guess I hate knowing the fact that there is another person in your life right now. I wish life is much more simpler.

BEE, thank you for all your assurance. I will wait for fate to prove that we have a good life ahead.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Leave me alone

I just wanna be alone tonight. I just want to isolate myself. I'm freaking tired of everything in this world. Dun ever ask me why.

Post Reunion Dinner

Tonight's dinner ended quite early compared to past years. Doesnt seems as bad as I think. Seems like I was the one who talked the most.

Wanted to take a nap after dinner but din want to put my phone to discreet in case BEE calls. Ended up I was awoken by all the new year greetings sms every few mintues. Now I feel even more tired.

Reunion Dinner

Everything is set, food are all ready. Just waiting to start dinner.

Once again, it is the time of the year, reunion dinner, the most uneasy moment of the year for me. Because I am eating with my family, people who really do not know me. They do not know who I really am. As usual, Mom will spend half the day cooking, the other half preparing new year stuff, and ended up soooooo tired. Dad, will go temple before midnight, and these few years mom expect me to follow him there, because I'm grown up. And I hate the journey, because Dad and I really do not have much to talk about. Of course I cant leave out our beloved auntie, who do nothing throughout the year, and do nothing much during new year reunion dinner, except giving all her naive and unproductive ideas and irrelevant chit chat topic. I wish Sis and Family can be here, so all the attention will be diverted to my cute niece and nephew.

I am so so so moody. I have been thinking of BEE, miss you so much. I only wish to be with you, that's all. Probably a reunion dinner I look forward is with BEE's Parents and My Parents and both of us, eating happily.

I guess this wont be happening in the near future, or maybe not at all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to whoever reading this blog. Wish you happy and healthy throughout the year! :)

Lunar New Year Eve

Today is consider the last day in the chinese calender. As usual, all the shops will operate half day. Left BEE's hse after a good lunch that BEE bought me, went for haircut. Feeling better now.

As usual, helped mom with the praying stuff, burning of joss paper, preparation for reunion dinner. As age catches up, really do not have the mood to celebrate chinese new year especially when family size reduces since sis got married. Then first day of new year have to drag ourselve to visit some relatives, everyone will ask the same questions. So fake. This year, I did not shop for any new year clothings at all. Anyway I have the cute lion dance tee that BEE bought me from Thailand. Still have a pair of jeans and shoes that is totally new, also bought by BEE. Second day of new year got to work.

Really looking forward to the day BEE and I have our own home. I believe we will be so much happier than our current situation. :)

Depression mode

I fear....

I might lose the battle

I fear....

I might lose you to this material world

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BEE

My Dearest Bee,

I really really appreciate you spending time with me on all my off days. We have been creating memorable histories in our relationship. You made me realised and experienced what treasuring each other means. I am so fortunate to have you in my life and thank you for always protecting me like a real man. I need you so much and I just cant live a day without you. Be assured that I would never want to take back my heart from you and I will keep yours safe and well protected with me.

Please treasure all the things I have made for you, every single one of them consists of my true love, sincerity and most importantly, with exchange for many hours of sleep to complete. Knowing you well, I know you will keep them properly. If one day when I am not in this world anymore, they are still around to keep you company. Of coz I do not want this to happen as I want to be living with you till the end of time. Remember our promise that we will go for a body check up together ok? We'll plan this soon, for the good of our future. If we do not take good care of our health, why shall we bother to work so hard going through this tough time?

Till the next time we meet, promise you take good care of yourself.

I LOVE YOU MY VALENTINE! :)

Can't get enough of YOU

It was another happy day together with you. Really really wish we had more time to spend together. But I guess even if we had one whole day it won't be enough too.

Today you asked me to compare you and my ex. Although by default, I definitely will say I enjoy your company more. But honestly honestly honestly, YOU are still the correct answer. I have no doubt we can get along really well together (as a couple), even if we have different hobbies and lifestyle. Comparing to the past, I can feel that you really trust me now and are not faking it. It is your little worries of whether anybody cruises me and safety of me crossing the road that makes me feel so warm inside.

You know recently I have been feeling so empty on days when you are not around me. My heart feels heavy. But you made it all up when I am with you. I can tell you are making effort to make me feel good. Thank you BEE. I hope we can keep this energy till we grow old.

You know I am so afraid of losing you. Looking forward to the day when we can see Light again.

Catch a star

1st Feb.... so fast, it's already the second month of the new year. And one more month left my probation will be over. Work has been good, this company definitely encorages us to play hard too. Today the company just celebrated with those whose birthday is in Jan and Feb. That including mine.

Maybe it sounds kinda contradicting but this week, time seems to pass slowly. Maybe becoz I was feeling tired most of the time. Worse, my waistline has been expanding. I better watch out.

Tonight is so windy. It brings me to the mood again. Wish I am standing on top of the hill, with my baybee, enjoying the cold breeze. It makes me feel like running away with my baybee, to somewhere far far away. Away from all the hypocrites, away from all these colourful lifestyle. Just live a simple life, just the two of us. Maybe Bee cant, becoz he gets tired of things easily. If he faces me everyday, he'll be so bored and sleepy, one day he might just run away from me.

Dunno when will I be able to travel again.

Havent been to the cinema.... think the last time was in Nov.

Dunno what the future will be like.... Of coz I'm hoping things to turn out well, on the other hand, I'm so afraid of all the false hopes in life again. Even tho ppl say, no hope, no disappointment. But then, without dreams, what is the meaning of life? Contradicting!

Hate waiting without deadline.